I have this friend...her heart is broken

...her spirit is with the one who broke her heart

She calls me and says she is hurting badly, her tears will not quit...should I call him she says? Should I write him a letter? And there it is, "How am I going to do this Rainey?" I think before I speak because it hasn't been too long ago since I was here, at the same place. But I've learned so much...I've changed since then...what I would've done two years ago, i wouldn't do now in a million years. So I say "You just do it". "You do it because you have no other choice right now."

You know that feeling when you can't breath? You don't eat because you are simply not hungry. And when you finally fall asleep it's mostly because the crying has made you so sleepy. Then it seems like the night flies by and your waking up realizing that it wasn't a dream, your heart is still broken and you do not know how you will drag yourself out of your bed. It's the most vulnerable, emotional place you might ever be. So right now, none of what I will say to her will matter much...



But if I tell her anything that she would hear right now I would say, use this time for you. Read more...take some time to miss him but always in the forefront of your mind, know this is growing you and teaching you so many things the universe wants you to know. I would say "this is not your fault."



Break-ups happen for a mixture of reasons but the biggest is because both parties bring their "stuff" or "baggage" in and end up losing control over why they chose each other in the first place. Feelings end up "changing" because it is no longer as blissful as it was in the beginning...the reason for that? The baggage has reared it's ugly head.



Relationships will never truly change you into a happier/more fulfilled individual...it's you that has to find that happiness on your own first. Finding someone to love and being loved back is just icing on the cake! You will be free to love that person wholly and completely, not comparing them to anyone, ever. There is a great book, it's called "In the Meantime." It is one of the most fabulous books I have ever read. It's a book that explains many reasons why we do what we do in relationships and why react the way we do. The emphasis is on taking responsibility for "your stuff" when entering a relationship. It's a great read for any person single or dating, married or divorced. I'm telling you, you are doing yourself a great service if you scoop it up.



I love my friend and will be here to help her through this, every step of the way...my goal though is to help her not ever have to go through this again.



Knowing ourselves, knowing why we react the way we react and learning how to be responsible for our "stuff" will make all the difference in the world